I feel rotten.

Symptoms are coming back, and I don't know what else to do about it other than take Ibuprofen or Advil. It's difficult to focus on schoolwork when pain comes in waves and I find myself trying to time the bouts. There doesn't seem to be a pattern...... although, in more general time spans, I think I can safely say that it gets pretty bad in the cold weather.

Yet I love the fall.

A few nights ago, I fell asleep thinking about this.

I dreamt... that I took off my clothes

and I took off my skin

and underneath all those layers of epidermis and fat was rotten meat, with little snakes and parasites slithering between my muscles.

I feel like that's what I would find if I could tear away at myself. Too-red flesh, riddled with even darker spots here and there, some spots larger than others. Pain comes and goes, coursing through my body in what I can only describe as lines. I'm bruised somewhere inside, even though it doesn't look like it on the exterior.

Something is eating away at me.